Helping Hands Document and Mediation Services  

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This will depend on the type of case  you have and the outcome that you are seeking. In many instances a mediator may be an attorney, just not your attorney. However they may not be an attorney ,the   Mediators can be a  social workers, psychologists or other professionals who have formal training in mediation. Mediators and attorneys have different roles.  

Darlene Brower is not an Attorney  but has been  specially trained as a Certified family  and County mediator and hasSuccesfully  Mediatied Hundreds of Family cases and County Mediations  .

A contested divorce can have the same consequences as throwing a stone inside a glass house.  Mediating your divorce keeps your issues private and can help maintain the stability of your home during the turmoil of a most difficult and painful time.

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What are the differences between the services of an attorney and a mediator?

Attorneys represent the interests of their clients and advise them on the best way to present their case. Note that one attorney cannot represent both the husband and wife in an uncontested divorce. The attorney represents either the husband or the wife. The unrepresented spouse either hires his or her own lawyer or proceeds pro se.  Attorneys can discuss with you what may happen in court and can discuss ways of maximizing your concerns.  On the other hand a mediator doesn't give legal advice or recommend the terms of an agreement.  A mediator does not represent either side of a dispute, even if the mediator is also an attorney.  Mediators assist both parties  in conflict to communicate with each other and try to reach lasting agreements that are satisfying to both parties. In mediation you speak for yourself rather than having a lawyer speak for you if you are not represented by an attorney at the mediation  .

Divorce mediation is inherently a more harmonious and less angry way to identify, explore, and resolve the practical and legal issues that arise when a marriage is no longer working for both partners.  It is a process which involves both partners equally and directly in reaching an agreement about what should happen to your family (and your finances) going forward.   It works when both parties want it to work, and when a skilled  mediator,  helps make it work through guided, conflict-reducing, face to face conversations.

As your neutral, impartial  mediator,  you and your partner identify all the issues relevant to your separation -- alimony (spousal maintenance), equitable distribution of marital property, child support, parenting (custody).  The Mediatior  will help you keep your conversations on a productive, forward looking level.  They  will encourage you to share necessary information about your finances and may suggest that you consult with various independent professionals to help you gain the information you need to make decisions. They  will help you to evaluate  all the circumstances that a court might consider in resolving your issues and then help you create your own solutions, tailored to your own family’s particular needs and your own family’s values.

Successful divorce mediation is an empowering experience.  In this way, it is exactly the opposite of the experience most people have in a process in which each person has a lawyer speaking for him or her.   How many people do you know who blame their divorce lawyer for a bad agreement, or for extraordinary litigation expenses?  Even where the respective lawyers are not encouraging litigation for litigation’s sake, many people often do not fully understand their  options or the costs resulting from the decisions they need to make simply because lawyers are often not equipped to explain such matters in understandable ways.  Successful mediation will always avoid the worst case scenario of divorce litigation -  where a judge imposes a result upon the parties that neither one wants.   

The goal of  mediation i is a written agreement which both parties fully understand and accept and which will be  enforceable in the future

Should I have both an attorney and a mediator?

That depends. Mediation can be used to resolve a variety of disputes, from relatively simple small claims issues to more important ones, like those involving divorce. The more serious the conflict you have with another person, the more likely it is you may want an attorney to assist you.

If you decide to mediate you may not need to have an attorney to represent you.  Instead an attorney can help you with a variety of tasks such as:

• giving you information about your legal rights;
• advising you on your particular situation; and
• reviewing any agreement that may come out of mediation.
• Can attend the mediation to advise you .
• Be awair the attorney will have fees for all of the above and usually both parties are responsible for their own attorney fees when attending Mediation unless otherwise agreed . 

What can mediation give me that litigation cannot?

Privacy  - Creativity  - Fewer Costs - Faster Results - The formal procedures lawyers undertake in litigation are not only more costly, they also take more time. Does this mean that mediation is always the answer? No, however mediation is generally worth exploring.

Questions to ask yourself before you choose Mediation.

First look at your relationship with the other party.

• Do you and the other side have a stake in an ongoing relationship? Families and neighbors are good examples of situations in which each party can expect that they will see one another again and need to interact. Mediation offers a chance to fully hear what the other side has to say and to find an agreement that works for both sides. If you go to court, a judge will only be able to order certain types of outcomes based on  the law 
• Are you and the other person somewhat equal in power?  If so, mediation maybe a good choice. If not, going to court to litigate (ask the judge or a jury to decide) may be the best choice.
• Do you need information that the other side might hide in order to resolve the dispute? Mediationis particularly suitable if the information needed to resolve the dispute is pretty much known to everyone involved. If you think that the other side is unlikely to reveal this information without being formally asked to do so by the court , you will need an attorney to help you by using some of the “discovery” tools that only a court case can give .
• Mediation – Probably YES - Family conflicts are often a good choice for mediation because the parties are usually linked by family ties (family ties of blood or shared responsibly or experience that will continue to exist once the current dispute is over). Therefore, custody and visitation, support and divorces involving children are often good cases to consider mediation. Disputes between neighbors, with businesses in the community or other one-on-one conflicts are often good candidates to consider for mediation because (1) the relationship is likely to be ongoing, (2) you are fairly equal in power and (3) the information about the dispute is likely to be known by all the people involved. Cost is another consideration. Mediation is often a much cheaper choice.
  
  Mediation  - Probably NO - Certain types of cases do not lend themselves to mediation. Cases where there is a significant difference in power between the two parties often are not the best choices for mediation. For example, cases of domestic violence, personal injury, cases against a large or distant company often involve significant differences in power where a judge or jury might offer the best outcome. In addition, cases where the other side has information that is needed to resolve the dispute. While litigation is usually a much more expensive choice, in some cases it is money well spent .  

The key to your decisioni s to be realistic about a fair outcome. putting aside some of your emotion and looking at the long term picture. This is particularly important in disputes with family or neighbors is the key.